It being December 25th and all, if you celebrate Christmas, let me be among the first to wish you a very Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to us all.
Of course I’ve included it in my CV. Wouldn’t you?
“December 2019: Debut performance in the National Ballet of Canada’s The Nutcracker at the Four Seasons Centre for the Performing Arts in Toronto.”
I confess, my phone hasn’t exactly been ringing off the hook with auditions for other ballet companies, but it’s only been three years.
How it all started
Those of you living in Toronto may already know this, but every holiday season, the National Ballet of Canada invites all manner of local Toronto “celebrities” to appear in The Nutcracker in the all important roles of the two Cannon Dolls. This tradition began nearly 60 years ago when the founder of the National Ballet, Celia Franca, thought it would be fun to have non-dancers participate in the annual production.
Over the years, scores of Toronto celebs have graced The Nutcracker stage in the coveted and very demanding roles of the two Cannon Dolls. I mean the dolls are on stage for a good 90 seconds so the preparation and rehearsals for the performance are intense and exhausting.
Just before the intermission, the two Cannon Dolls accompany the Cannon Master onto the stage. One Cannon Doll makes it clear he/she is a timid and fearful pacifist while the other is a gung ho, war-mongering hawk who is probably saying something like “I love the smell of Napalm in the morning.” The Cannon Master clearly sides with the pro-war Cannon Doll and fires to start the great battle that closes the first half of the ballet.
The comic antics of the Cannon Dolls are great fun to watch and even more fun to perform. You get a sense of their crowd-pleasing roles in this video featuring Kyle Lowry and Matt Thomas, who at the time were stars on the Toronto Raptors.
Then I got the call
Anyway, it seems that in the fall of 2019, the National Ballet of Canada was clearly scraping the bottom of the Toronto celebrity barrel, for I was somehow invited to take my turn on the stage as a Cannon Doll. How could I refuse? I recruited my younger son Ben, the one with the theatre degree, to join me.
Beyond the fact that it sounded like fun, writers are often looking for unique experiences just on the off chance that they might want to write about them in future novels. So I said “Yes.”
So, early one Sunday afternoon, late in December 2019, we made our way downtown to the Four Seasons Centre for the Performing Arts in Toronto. And, yes, we entered through the stage door, for “Performers only.” We met with a choreographer for a half-hour of rehearsal and instruction while all of the other principal dancers and supporting dancers warmed up around us. That didn’t make me nervous at all. Ahem, not at all. Then we were whisked into our dressing room to don our fancy outfits. No, we didn’t have our own trailer. But I was told I wore the same costume that Kyle Lowry wore when he played the role. I was duly honoured.
Then, as the sellout audience filed in, we were taken backstage to get ready to, you know, “perform.” I was struck by just how massive a space the backstage area is. The actual stage that the audience sees is relatively small in comparison. That’s not something I’d ever have known from watching the ballet as a ticket-holder, which I have on several occasions.
The first half of the ballet whizzed by in a flash and it wasn’t long before Ben and I were flanking the Cannon Master and making our centre-stage grand entrance. Then Ben and I did our thing. He shrank with fear while I was ready and rarin’ to get this battle started! I was windmilling my arms and acting out a cannon ball exploding while a terrified Ben leapt into my arms and promptly fainted. We carried on our histrionics off to the side for a short time before the Cannon Master eventually led us offstage to conclude our two minute performance with the National Ballet of Canada.
Ben and I had a lot of fun in our National Ballet debut. It was quite amazing to see how these incredible artists make it all look so effortless. It was really impressive. During the intermission we did our best to clean off the make-up, though our cheeks appeared rouged for a few days to come. When we emerged into the lobby to grab a drink before joining my wife Nancy and a few friends to watch the second half, a smattering of applause was directed our way. Our red cheeks had given us away as the Cannon Dolls. We took a tiny little “aw shucks” bow.
I noted earlier that writers will often write about unique experiences they’ve had. Why keep it as just a memory when you can turn it into a scene in your next novel? So I did. Not to give anything away, but in Operation Angus, Daniel and Angus are invited to play the Cannon Dolls in the touring production of The Nutcracker when it comes to the National Arts Centre in Ottawa late in the story. It’s always so much easier to write with firsthand experience!
So there you have my very brief fling in the ballet. I think I’ll stick to my day job of writing novels. All the best over the holiday break and we’ll see you back here in a week.
Great story!!
What a funny and interesting story. I love the photos too!